I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
