I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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