She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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