I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
