Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
