This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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