I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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