I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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