I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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