Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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