i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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