You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
