so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
