If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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