just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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