Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
