When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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