Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
