We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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