upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize