I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
