He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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