she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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