im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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