You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
