I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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