Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
