Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
