Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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