your parents love me but you hate me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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