My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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