So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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