Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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