umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
