I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
