OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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