At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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