i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
