the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
PANTIES FOUND
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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