I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
