Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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