i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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