plz talk dirty to me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
