hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You can't motorboat a personality
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
