no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
