I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
