Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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