I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
