also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
