his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
