if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
