Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
