This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
