we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need water and some morals
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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